Perhaps Land

It was good to be unsure of things in Perhaps Land. In fact, it was the only way to be.

People who got sure about things in Perhaps Land would invariably fall ill and would have to go see a doctor. Of course, the doctor would be very unsure about the disease and its cure and would feel that perhaps he would be able to come up with a remedy. Once the afflicted person started being unsure of the doctor’s efforts he would, in an instant, regain his health.

Because everyone was unsure of things in Perhaps Land, it was possible to live in a thousand possibilities. Now see, that’s something that couldn’t be said in Perhaps Land. I would have to say that perhaps it was possible to live in a thousand possibilities. Anyway, it was second nature of the people of Perhaps Land to live in many dimensions, or then again, perhaps it was their first nature.

They loved anything that had a perhaps in it. And they were pretty good at inserting perhaps into things, too. Once, I remember, I had remarked on the Sun, saying how it was a beautiful star, perhaps my favourite one. ‘Perhaps it is not a star at all,’ said my friend.

‘It isn’t?’ I asked.

‘Perhaps not. A ‘star’ is just a name you’ve given it. Once you name things, the danger is that you stop the perhaps in them. After all, the Sun doesn’t know it’s a star,’ he said.

‘What could it be then?’ I asked.

‘Perhaps the sun is not a thing. Perhaps it is just an event.’

I thought about that for a while. It’s true, the sun is a vast sphere of hydrogen that is burning and will eventually burn itself up. So, in that sense, perhaps it is a long drawn out event.

‘Perhaps I am an event, too, and not a person, really,’ I remarked, quite surprising myself.

My friend smiled and said, evidently quite pleased to have the opportunity to use his favourite word, ‘Perhaps.’

There were actually a long line of philosopher saints who had codified the different levels of perhaps. It is said that perhaps not more than three or four people alive really understand the full aspects of the philosophy of perhaps, but I’ll put it down nevertheless in the hope that you can, dear reader, perhaps make sense of it, either in full or in part. This is how it goes:

Perhaps a thing is.
Perhaps a thing is not.
Perhaps a thing is and is not.
Perhaps it is inexpressible.
Perhaps it is and I cannot express it.
Perhaps the thing is not and cannot be expressed.
Perhaps the thing is and also is not and I cannot express it.